Ultimate Korean Girl

There are Korean girls (like me) and then there are Ultimate Korean Girls (not like me). Now, I am not hating. These are just merely observations through my years of living in Los Angeles discerning between the two. My two best friends are Korean and I love being Korean. I just think we are nonsense sometimes.

You are an Ultimate Korean Girl if you meet most of the criteria below:

• all your girlfriends are Korean (and I mean every single one of them)
• you have the K-town accent
• it is imperative you own at least one (very) high end article of clothing that visibly shows the logo
• your sunglasses are either Gucci, Chanel or Christian Dior (with the emblem very clearly displayed)
• you envy other Korean girls who have something you don't (or can't) have
• Your boyfriend (who is Korean) has bought you a Gucci, Channel, Prada or Christian Dior bag at least once
• You don't think twice about paying when you are with your boyfriend
• you are not cheap
• you are generous
• you spend ridiculous amounts of money on gifts for your boyfriend (amount that is way beyond your means)
• you own a BMW or are saving up like nobody's business to own one
• you won't date a Korean unless they own at least a BMW
• you have numerous photos of you and your girlfriends at Korean clubs (it's all smoky too in the background because of the cigarette smoke)
• you smoke cigarettes
• you wear thick black eyeliner that you tip off at the end (to make it look extra bitchy)
• you either have chemically treated straight hair or an artificial perm
• you own about 10 different black pants (they are all strikingly similar)
• you are most likely shorter than 5'5"
• going to a Korean club is a must at least once a weekend (going to a white club that is having an Asian night doesn't count as a Korean club either)
• you drink only soju, crown, patron
• you look like you are ready to kill any other Korean girl who is at least cuter than you
• when you see other Korean girls who happen to have white friends, you hate and call them white-washed
• you have no social skills outside of being with your fellow Ultimate Korean Girlfriends because you don't really know how to communicate with people if they are not Korean
• you are skinny (can either also be grossly underweight)
• if you work with non-Koreans, you refuse to befriend them and don't really talk to them other than saying the obligatory "how was your weekend" when you run into them