The kids in England know how it's done.

This is probably one of the most awesome Google Earth pranks in the history of Google Earth pranks. What makes it more awesome? The prim and proper use of English in the article.

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,25239846-5006301,00.html

I do have to say though, that that is a horrible rendition. Kid should have been able to do better.

I love you, Japan

I'm inclined to think that the racist imagery in Resident Evil 5 is borne out of ignorance rather than sheer malice. I mean, it's a multi-million dollar company making a video game that's supposed to be sold in many countries, among them the United States. I don't think that the average multi-national company would intentionally attempt that to make a point about Africa in a malicious way.

In other words, it's just Japan.

This too, is also just Japan. Those whacky guys.

I notice that they stuck with "white" Jesus as opposed to Jewish Jesus or black Jesus. Then again, it's better than Aryan Jesus I suppose.

Oh, and for the title question? I'm pretty sure he's here to *Spoiler Alert* save the world.

Why Star Trek XI Will Rock

Because one of the Asian gets to induct James Tiberius Kirk into the Nation's Punched.














Probably should have ripped his shirt first.

Slightly inebriated in Hermosa

I'm in Hermosa and I guess I didn't get the memo that St. Patrick's Day started three days early. Which means that the streets are filled with white people in green. I'm pretty sure they're not all Irish, and just using this as an excuse to drink. That's bullshit. You shouldn't need an excuse to drink; and you're a loser if you do. I may be alcoholic, but at least I'm an honest alcoholic.

It's an embarrassment. Do these D-bags drink on every ethnic holiday using it as an excuse? Cinco de Mayo? Si. Martin Luther King Jr. Day? I bet these guys pour a forty in the gutter for their fallen homie.

Fuck these guys. If you're ambiguously white, be ambiguously white. Don't try to be the Koreans of Europe.  They got it tough enough as it without your pasty douche ass.

I used to live by one, that gives me cred

I used to live by a Ranch 99. For those that don't know, that's an Asian supermarket. Since it was so close, I tended to go grocery shopping there (lazy and poor). Anyway, all the time that I was there, I've never seen anybody white shop there. Or rather, I've never seen anybody bring their white kids in there. At times there would be a few white folks, but they tended to be elderly. Not that it would be inappropriate for the whites to go in there, but they'd all go to the PW down the street, or the Costco across the street. Seriously, totally not making that up.

Anyway, this is hilarious:



Honestly, what the hell? Chinese commercial in Chinese, and the "romantic interest" is played by a white dude? Seriously? I have no problem with white guys with Asian chicks, but I find it kinda odd that it would be the default for a freaking commerical for Chinese people. More so that it's forced since I've never seen a white kid in an Asian grocery store. They randomly bump into each other in the store? Utter nonsense. That's some major game playin' there.

And it ends with, "captures authentic Asian flavor." Yeah, I bet you do 8 year old white boy. Probably went to med school and everything; only reason why her mom would let this relationship fly. Just sayin'.

Pinkerton Syndrome. Just sayin'.

Who Watches?

I wouldn't say that I've been following the Watchmen production closely, but I've been keeping track when things happened. While it just came out today, the opening credit sequence has been uploaded by yU+Co, the company that did them. Around five and a half minutes long, it's one of the most impressive sequences I've seen in a long time. All the details are right, although some stuff is literal as opposed to implied as in the original comics.

As this is The Asian Americanist, one of the writers of the script is Alex Tse (who is Asian):


Though he didn't have a lot of credits to his name, he did have a good relationship with Warner Bros. Some hard work and a little luck, and he was able to get to write the thing. Which is also cool, although it doesn't really matter if he's Asian-American or not.

If it's a good script, then they got the right guy. If not, then they didn't. But, it works like that for most movies I'd imagine.

What time is it?

Today I will be blogging about those people who love to talk about themselves and hold no conversational skills. I like to call these people "People who tell you how to build a clock instead of just telling you the time." Like when I ask you (you as in you are just an acquaintance or someone I need to do obligatory talk with) how was your weekend, I only want to know if something extraordinary happened. Like if you met the Dalai Lama, I want to know that. If you won the lottery, okay cool, that is nice to know too. What I don't want to hear is inane, mundane, nonsense talk, nor do I want to hear you break down every day of the weekend and tell me what you did on each day.

For example, I don't want to hear "So Friday night I went out with my girlfriends because it was girlfriend night out. We watched "Sleepless in Seattle," cracked open a new bottle of wine I have been saving up and ate mushroom tartes. Then I went to bed like at 1:30am and woke up on Saturday to make some pancakes. After I had pancakes, I went for a little jog on this new trail my friend told me about. That was tiring and I had to shower afterwards. Since I had some time left over, I straightened my hair. I know, I was feeling crazy right?"

Oh my fucking god, are you kidding me? Like just say I hung out. I don't friggin care. That was the most boring story I heard in my life and if that was exciting for you and you thought it was worthy enough to take 10 minutes to tell me, you really need some basic social skills 101. Now, don't say "well then if you don't care, don't ask." No, hey dick, how about you are just boring and don't know how to tell a funny story. I don't think most people understand how boring they are. If you are funny, you can tell that above story and be make me laugh. If you are that funny person, you are probably my friend. Just say "My wknd was uneventful, I would have rather sucked donkey balls." See? That tells me you did something boring, like described above and you are considerate enough not to bore me with it.

Also, there are people who just ask questions because they only want you to ask them back so they can talk both of your ears off. They will say "what did you do this wknd" and I will say "not much" and then they go off "oh well this is what I did" (see boring story above). God, why can't people just get a clue?

Then there are people who are just as boring as a brick wall and have no conversational skills (this applies to many Asians because they tend to be socially awkward). If you ask them, "so where did you grow up," they say "LA." WOW REALLY? Do you have any skills? This is when you say "Oh LA, how about you?" This is how you hold conversations people.

I also abhor people who only like to talk when it is something they are interested in, and if they aren't, they get really irritated because they can't open their Chatty Cathy lips. Like really, people, including myself, are not all that interesting so don't think that you are and that the rest of the world wants to hear about your stupid, irrelevant life.

Having a conversation with people, does not mean it is an open forum for YOU to unzip your lips and talk about how you made vegetable soup this weekend.