tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56144819652419852012024-03-19T04:49:19.383-07:00The Asian AmericanistA collective of Asian-Americans who don't believe that being Asian-American is our sole defining characteristic.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-25857043097354544782010-06-02T16:19:00.000-07:002010-06-02T16:26:05.594-07:00Donald Glover For Spider-Man<div><div>I am 100% behind this:<br /><br /><a href="http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/1680/donaldgloverforspiderma.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 290px; HEIGHT: 430px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/1680/donaldgloverforspiderma.jpg" /></a><br /><br />+<br /><br /><a href="http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/6590/spiderr.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 475px; HEIGHT: 261px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/6590/spiderr.jpg" /></a><br /><br />=<br /><br /><a href="http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/8846/spidermanz.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 395px; HEIGHT: 362px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/8846/spidermanz.jpg" /></a></div><div> </div><div><a href="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=130945906916984&v=wall">http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=130945906916984&v=wall</a></div></div>Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-65795163332253792952010-05-25T20:11:00.000-07:002010-05-25T20:13:54.053-07:00Fast, Good, CheapFor fuck's sake Fox, get it together.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/3697/wolverine2.gif"><img style="WIDTH: 500px; HEIGHT: 333px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/3697/wolverine2.gif" /></a><br /><br /><br />What kind of cheap-ass bullshit is that?Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-6396775806038211892010-04-29T23:41:00.000-07:002010-04-29T23:47:19.610-07:00Arizona, and now Oklahoma. The stupidity is spreading.Okay, here's the thing. <a href="http://crooksandliars.com/nicole-belle/oklahoma-creates-all-new-bureacracy-a">Fuck Oklahoma</a>. Seriously.<br /><div></div><br /><div>Basically, it's now legal in Oklahoma for doctors to lie to their patients. Yes, this is much more important than any other issues going on right now. I wonder what the AMA thinks about this.</div><br /><div>In lighter news, Oklahoma looks like a pot. Teehee.</div><br /><div></div><a href="http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/2171/oklahoma.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 418px; HEIGHT: 328px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/2171/oklahoma.jpg" /></a>Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-70213594119646170862010-03-02T17:47:00.000-08:002010-03-02T18:05:26.098-08:00I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school...or a Chuck E. Cheese.So, like many an Asian, I'm a fan of the drink. By which I mean that I'm only not considered an alcoholic because some kind (most likely Irish) soul created the "social drinker." By which I mean, I can get 'bliviated at bars. I'm not all that picky, even the dive bars have their qualities, so I'm not exactly all that up on bar etiquette. <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/03/02/brooklyn.babies.in.bars/index.html?hpt=C1">So, it comes as quite a surprise to me that some bars, in Brooklyn of all places, let babies in.</a> I guess it's kosher since they aren't drinking. Well, presumably some drunk dude ain't pouring beer into their sippie cups.<br /><div></div><br /><div>Which is totally hilarious, but I have no idea who did that.</div><a href="http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/8886/babycry.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 300px; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/8886/babycry.jpg" /></a><br /><div></div><span style="font-size:78%;">Babies. Freakin' lightweights.</span><br /><div></div><div></div><br /><div>Personally, I find that dangerous. Not because of health per se, or because somebody's going to accidentally step on a crawling tyke. I mean dangerous for me. When I'm in a bar and I'm trying to stick my dick in anything that moves, well, there are certain assumptions that go along with that. For one, it should be a designated zone, ID only, so I can be sure that everybody in that motherfucker is over 21. I don't have time to be checking that shit.</div><div><br />It's quite simple, if I'm going to get accused of rape, it's not going to be statutory (baby) rape. Even I have standards.</div><div></div><br /><div>I mean it's loud in there, and you got strangers and weird smells. Keep those babies away. And dogs.</div>Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-31924439263424138872010-02-26T22:33:00.000-08:002010-02-26T22:45:21.490-08:00I likes the vag.<a href="http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/5779/tigermi.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 299px; HEIGHT: 206px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/5779/tigermi.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div><div>I don't play golf. I mean, I've played mini-golf, and I think that Happy Gilmore is one of Adam Sandler's best movies co-starring Carl Weathers, but that doesn't make me a golf fan or a player of the game.</div><div><br />If Tiger Woods is supposed to be a role model, it seems founded on him being a hard working dude with a golf club, not Casey Jones like, but that's another story. Which is why he's so good and a champion and all that. And why he got all those promotional deals.<br /></div><div>So why is he apologizing? I mean, to everybody? Yes, he obviously got his shit to take care of with his family, but what's that got to do with me? </div><div><br />If he had been on the 'roids, that's one thing. He didn't do what his "image" was, in other words, he wouldn't actually be a badass golfer. But, that's not what happened. Whatever he did do with all that trim, didn't affect his status as a badass golfer.</div><div><br />He's a cheater, but he didn't cheat at golf.</div><br /><div>So he doesn't exactly owe the public anything for viewing him as something other than some guy that hits little white balls really well. Even the ads with his face don't exactly convey more than that.</div><br /><div>So he didn't actually let us down, now did he?</div></div>Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-72083491196626530582009-12-20T23:16:00.000-08:002009-12-20T23:38:08.656-08:00Avatarded<a href="http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/5869/avatartitle.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 489px; HEIGHT: 132px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/5869/avatartitle.jpg" /></a><br /><div></div><span style="font-size:85%;">"Every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes." - Col. Quaritch</span><br /><div></div><br /><div>Avatar is estimated to have pulled in about $73M domestically over the weekend. That's not bad, but considering how much it cost, anywhere from 300M to 500M, it's not exactly great. That's probably partly to do with how uninspired it seems to be. Admittedly, the CGI is pretty damn great and the 3D is incredible. I mean that in a technical sense, as its used in a more subtle fashion than the usual poke things out at you.</div><div></div><br /><div>But, one of the main criticisms is that it ultimately tells an incredibly slight and cliched tale. Which isn't altogether untrue. It's FernGully with some Dances with Wolves mixed in. It's rather unsophisticated and everyone's playing an archetype rather than a character. So you basically have the evil human corporations and para-military killfuckers that need to mine a mineral to either earn a profit or power the human empire. In order to accomplish this they decide to killfuck the hell out of the Native American/African Na'vi (which is native with ET taken out). The Na'vi of course are alien hippies with a literal connection to nature in their USB port tipped braids. They jam it into the same in animals and trees and shit to command or communicate with them. </div><div></div><br /><div>Side note, one of the tests of manhood/hunterhood is to claim an ikran (dragon) as a mount. To do this, you wrestle it to the ground and USB-rape it in order to get it to do what you want. Yeah, I had that reaction too. Also, Jake does this twice. He's a serial dragon USB-rapist.</div><div></div><br /><div>Back on point, you can throw around White Guilt and shit, but it's mainly humans suck and the native alien hippies are awesome. Which, it has been argued, is simplistic and bad because it's such a weak conflict. Here's the thing though, there's not an insignificant amount of people that can't figure out why the humans didn't just bomb the fuck out of the aliens and steal their shit and stuff. So that's why I think for how simplistic the story was, it pretty much had to. The audience is composed of a large percentage of sociopathic morons. If they can't even understand that it's bad to killfuck a population in order to steal their land, then fuck, no wonder movies are so unsophisticated.</div>Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-79647272184420298202009-08-08T21:21:00.000-07:002009-08-08T22:24:24.244-07:00GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra...then your ass gets sent to jail.Despite what I said previously, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra was actually pretty good. It was pretty damn moronic, but still delivered on hard PG-13 action and assorted shenanigans. I'm not the biggest GI Joe fanboy, though I do remember the television show fondly. Which makes it sort of odd that there were those complaining about the movie needing to be grimdark. This is a show, after all, that had a crossdressing ninja breakdancer.<br /><br />Anyway, since the movie did pretty well, and I'm sure that a sequel is already being talked about, so let's talk about what's necessary for the sequel:<br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">></span><br /><u>Five Things the next GI Joe movie needs to have</u> <div><span style="color:#ffffff;">></span></div><div>1. More Joes - Seeing Jinx in the background was pretty cool. And Brendan Fraser getting some lines as pseudo-new Sgt. Stone was decent, but I want some more. Especially considering that there was an undersea battle and yet, Shipwreck was nowhere to be found. If there's a forest fire in the movie, will they not have <a href="http://gijoe.wikia.com/wiki/Barbecue">Barbecue</a>?</div><br /><div>Thus, I am requiring that there be at least two Joes appear that would fit in with the Village People, the Pit is sort of like the YMCA. For example:<br /></div><div><a href="http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/3403/shipwreck.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 325px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 406px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/3403/shipwreck.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/159/spirith.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 259px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 386px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/159/spirith.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>Yes, I'm aware that the Village People only dressed up as sailors for "In the Navy." Work with me people. </div><div><br />2. Radioactive Ninja Fighting a Polar Bear - This isn't that farfetched. There's already a polar bear in the movie, and since ninjas are proven to be badasses, Snake Eyes should fight a polar bear. It's not like it hasn't been done before.<br /></div><div><a href="http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/9273/radioactivesnakeeyes.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 492px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 394px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/9273/radioactivesnakeeyes.jpg" /></a> </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">></span></div><div>Half of this is already in the first movie. The second movie should be about topping what was done in the first. Thus, glowing ninjas kicking the shit out of an uppity bear.</div><div></div><br /><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>3. More of the Mummy cast - We already have Brendan Fraser, Arnold Vosloo, and Kevin J. O'Connor, and probably some of the camels. Might I suggest Rachel Weisz as Lady Jaye? And Oded Fehr as Flint? </div><br /><div></div><div></div><div>4. Breakdancing Ninja - Ninjas are badass, but they're also coordinated as hell, despite their tendancy to flip out and kill things. Since we should develop the Snake Eyes character beyond a gimp with ninja skills, he should get some screen time not being the ultimate pervy badass. Especially since he doesn't get to make time with Scarlett. Damn that Ripcord.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wHcMThH4Dcs&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><br /><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wHcMThH4Dcs&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">></span></div><br />5. More of the Asian - In the background of a scene at the Pit you see someone that is probably Jinx. But, considering that there are two black people with the Joes, I think that there should be at least two of the Asian. Which means, yes, Quick Kick.<br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">></span><br />The John Wayne talking motherfucka, himself.<br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">></span><br /><a href="http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/3346/quickkick.gif"><img style="WIDTH: 172px; HEIGHT: 182px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/3346/quickkick.gif" /></a><br /><br />You can't see it, but he's not wearing any shoes. Because Quick Kick doesn't need shoes.<br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">></span><br />His introduction in the cartoon was to walk around the Arctic shirtless and barefoot and then kick Storm Shadow's ass.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MT5TmntOI7E&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MT5TmntOI7E&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />GI Joe had something like 200 members to combat COBRA, they didn't need any of them. All they needed was to hire this guy. He would have kicked all of their asses, and then slept with the Baronness. Right after cracking walnuts in his butt cheeks and slapping a lion in the face.<br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">></span><br />That's how badass he is.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-37924021161547062022009-07-08T22:07:00.000-07:002009-07-08T22:16:45.277-07:00Yep, that's about right.The thing about racism, especially now, is that it tends to be about extremes. The extreme KKK style racism is pretty much an outcast, and the people that follow, even though there are still far too many, are not exactly looked highly upon by society as a whole. On the other side, it's subtle and forced to be in the metaphorical shadows since it wouldn't exactly be looked highly upon by society as a whole. Partly because of ignorance, and partly because you can't exactly show it.<br /><br />Which means it's kinda hilarious (bad I know) when it shows up in such an obvious manner. Take this recent case:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Pool-Boots-Kids-Who-Might-Change-the-Complexion.html">"More than 60 campers from Northeast Philadelphia were turned away from a private swim club and left to wonder if their race was the reason."</a><br /><br />Admittedly, the article's mostly one-sided in terms of a bunch of black kids getting turned away from a private swim club where they had membership. Still, this quote from the club's president just takes the cake.<br /><br /><blockquote>"There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club" - John Duesler</blockquote><br />I mean seriously? Can you be anymore obvious? I'd think that if you're racist, especially in a situation where it's going to get press, that you'd at least try to hide it. Or if you're not, you wouldn't want to make a stupid mistake and look it.<br /><br />I have to say that it does tickle me a little how badly it was handled.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-2301685300640524752009-07-07T20:05:00.000-07:002009-07-07T20:06:31.861-07:00Written and Directed BySo, how many BET Awards will this win?<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3CSS7kfjJaw&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3CSS7kfjJaw&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-19196953190908459682009-07-03T23:31:00.000-07:002009-07-03T23:54:19.904-07:00America's PromiseBack in the '80s and early '90s we used to have awesome neighborhood video rental places. You'd find all sorts of crap to view, much of the time based on how awesomely bad or badly awesome the cover was. These were the sorts of places where I discovered <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kd642Ix5ks">Robot Jox</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j41Su5rE7js&feature=related">Deepstar Six</a>. It's also where I got stuff like Rambo, and Die Hard, though I saw Die Hard 2 on laserdisc. Ah laserdisc, those were the days.<br /><br />Anyway, back in the day we did have guys like Schwarzenegger and Jet Li, but we also had Stallone and Bruce Willis. We had Seagal and Chuck "The Beard" Norris. In other word, men's men. American men starring in the greatest action movies ever. Seriously, Invasion USA will put hair on your chest.<br /><br />So what the fuck happened? Now all the heir apparents to the manly men of American action movies are coming from other places that aren't America. Sure, I got a lot of love for Tony "I will break your face on my knee" Jaa and Jason "Crank 2" Statham. But where's the next big American action star? Christian Bale? Not American. Sam Worthington? Not American.<br /><br />Shia "Fucking" Labeouf. Seriously, he was just in what I imagine was the top grossing action movie of the year, and he's the guy that gets killed in movies so you know that the shit just got real. I mean seriously. Remember Orlando Bloom? Remember how much of a travesty it was that Eric Bana's character in Troy got killed for his ass?<br /><br />What happened to real American action heroes? GI Joe doesn't count, because it looks moronically stupid. Sorry Tatum.<br /><br />It's like America has developed a generation of pussies. Where kids no longer get into fist fights at school. Bullies have free reign as long as they don't get caught. The kids that should just get fed up and throw a punch now just fester until they bring guns to school. When alcoholism and beating on your kids is no longer acceptable behavior, you develop a generation of pussies instead of men. If we're supposed to be the world's cowboys, then why the hell are our leading men all a bunch of little bitches?<br /><br /><a href="http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/1999/parent.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 373px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/1999/parent.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And that's why we have Shia "Fucking" Labeouf as the "action hero." And why the girls all dig Zack Efron.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-56123987617187069142009-07-02T12:59:00.000-07:002009-07-02T13:05:36.985-07:00Damn Right.Do you know why this is awesome?<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Olfn5LvcnnY&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Olfn5LvcnnY&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Because Winston was always the most awesome ghostbuster.<br /><br /><a href="http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/135/winston.gif"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/135/winston.gif" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />That's why.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-58060543192291207012009-06-27T01:29:00.000-07:002009-06-27T20:49:08.143-07:00It's your own fault now.I understand that language is highly fluid. And that in terms of racial language, or racist terminology would was okay in the past isn't okay now. Or that some terms are appropriated by a race, but can't/shouldn't be used by others. But, there's also just asking for trouble.<br /><br />Gazprom and Nigeria's NNPC are going to invest in joint venture energy concern in Nigeria. It's to be called...<a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8118721.stm">Nigaz.</a><br /><br />Of all the names, this is the one that had to be chosen. Admittedly, it's probably something like <strong>NI</strong>geria <strong>GAZ</strong>prom. Still, this is not making it easier for the rest of us. Thanks Nigeria. In addition to your hundreds of princes in need of monetary support, you gots to play a guy like this.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-51498490392651496212009-06-23T07:10:00.000-07:002009-06-23T07:32:09.493-07:00Anything You Can Do I Can Do BetterRemember rap? Or hip-hop? Admittedly I was never too into that scene, sorry AP yellow parka wearing douchebags, you were always losers. And taking pride in your race will never make you not a loser. Your parents drop you into a house by yourselves with no supervision because they're still back in Asia and you occupy your time trying to act hard and gangsta? You were richer than I was motherfucker, what kind of hustling did you ever have to do? Fuck you. And fuck you Dat Phan, just because.<br /><br />Remember how rap used to be edgy and cool? How the blacks, or African-Americans, to not be offensive, made this "Against the Man" music that was different from what the mainstream was listening to. It really spoke to those downtrodden, I imagine typically urban, kids, that's what I get from one of VH1's documentaries at least. Anyway, the kids weren't necessarily black, but let's face it, how many white rappers were there in the early days? And Beastie Boys don't count. They started as a punk group.<br /><br />And, they're Jewish.<br /><br />Anyway, rap has become like a big fuck you to black people. No really. What's one of the most popular rap/hip-hop songs right now? "I Love College."<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt6t5TTuk5Q">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt6t5TTuk5Q</a><br /><br />Yeah, instead of talking of hustling, how life be all hard and shit, and/or pimping, rap is now about how awesome college is. Because it is. Sex and booze and drugs (weed only), but with people that actually can put themselves together long enough to make a noon class. To be fair, that shit ain't easy.<br /><br />Oh, and the video has a scene with beer pong in it.<br /><br />It's like the Man took all the gritty and hard aspects of rap and hip-hop and turned it on its head as a big FU to black people. Know how the main consumers are surbuban white kids? Yeah, this is the next step. Suburban white kids making rap. Rap is now safe.<br /><br />And this guy is the face of it:<br /><br /><a href="http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/7172/asherrothd.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 425px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 640px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/7172/asherrothd.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'm not black nor white, but I am sorry. I am so very sorry. For you black people.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-27845375291613736072009-06-07T14:26:00.000-07:002009-06-07T14:30:10.931-07:00The Chinese Martin RiggsI know this is old. But, let it never be said that Asians are pussies.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30896807/">Chen Fuchao, a man heavily in debt, had been contemplating suicide on a bridge in southern China for hours when a passer-by came up, shook his hand — and pushed him off the ledge.</a><br /><br />If you're contemplating suicide, we take you seriously. And if you decide to try to be a bitch about it, that won't do. At all.<br /><br /><blockquote><p>"I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action<br />violates a lot of public interest," Lai was quoted as saying by Xinhua.</p></blockquote><br />That's how it goes. Don't be selfish by not jumping your own self.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-5390637350549653642009-06-06T03:59:00.001-07:002009-06-06T04:13:03.209-07:00Sucks to your ass-mar.According to UCI, which I don't know, at least it's not UC Merced, has discovered Whitey isn't down with Asian Men.<br /><br />Look, I know that THE HANGOVER is coming out, and Ken Jeong is perhaps less than magnificently well-endowed, but that shouldn't cross over to all Asians. Besides, maybe he's a grower, and not a shower.<br /><br /><a href="http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/7176/kenjeong.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 450px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/7176/kenjeong.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I do kinda wonder about discrimination in terms of men over the race of women they date. I mean, exactly what questions are they asking? 'Cause all I know is that if I was polled, the race I would pick would be "whatever gets me laid."<br /><br />Fuck race. Literally.<br /><br />Ironically, that makes me both enlightened and not enlightened at the same time. How's that for the advancement of the species? To quote, <a href="http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24298/dating-101-dealing-with-the-race-factor;_ylc=X3oDMTNuNXVtc2NsBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjE0MjI3MzMxNARrA0RlYWxpbmcgV2l0aCB0aGUgUmFjZSBGYWN0b3IEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNkYXRpbmctMTAxLWRlYWxpbmctd2l0aC10aGUtcmFjZS1mYWN0b3IEenoDYWJj">"Asian American men are the least preferred mate for Caucasian women." </a>For the record, the majority of the women that I have dated have been white. I think of it as my way of sticking it to the (wo)Man.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-16606108008546699612009-06-04T13:04:00.000-07:002009-06-04T13:13:16.038-07:00Bangkok DangerousWell, if you have to go, I suppose autoerotic asphyxiation with Thai ladyboys* is the badass way to go out. In light of the news of David "Poon Dong" Carradine's alleged suicide in Thailand, let this be a lesson for us all.<br /><br /><a href="http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/3393/davidcarradine.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 280px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 365px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/3393/davidcarradine.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Always, but always, use a spotter.<br /><br />*AllegedlyAsian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-43190119824841871792009-05-03T20:07:00.000-07:002009-05-03T20:24:00.170-07:00Squash It.Last month a couple of kids at Covina High were arrested for planning capping some people and for bringing guns on campus, in addition to stealing the guns in the first place. Luckily it was just for the planning as opposed to the actual capping.<br /><br />What's even <a href="http://www.sgvtribune.com/ci_12277990">worse</a>? "Covina High students knew their classmates brought guns to school at least three times but failed to tell teachers or administrators, the school's principal said Friday."<br /><br />Yeah, people actually knew, but decided it was best to not tell anyone. Because if there's one thing that's worse than kids getting killed, it's snitching. Morons.<br /><br />I guess they never watched Family Matters.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OgD2Qr67ymc&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OgD2Qr67ymc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Or maybe they were all listening to the prophet Riley Freeman.<br /><br /><a href="http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/1643/rileyu.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 500px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 289px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/1643/rileyu.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />To boil it down, snitches are bitches.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-34111785087125689762009-04-15T21:50:00.001-07:002009-04-29T20:51:22.905-07:00No Shit, Sherlock.I have quite a few <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">DVD's</span>, all acquired legally. I know that there's some stuff, disclaimers and the like, that are shown in front of the movie on them. It's fast and it's probably a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">CYA</span> type of thing. I'm fine with that.<br /><br />However, this annoys the hell out of me:<br /><br /><a href="http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/8809/piracy.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 240px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 135px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/8809/piracy.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Seriously? I already legally bought the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">freakin</span>' DVD. You're going to lecture me on not pirating movies or buying pirated movies? That's damned patronizing, movie studios.<br /><br />How about a thank you for buying it legally and giving you money instead?<br /><br />In truth, I think that the Somali pirates that are hijacking vessels and ransoming off the crew need this message more than me.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-67048486198993458012009-04-12T10:50:00.000-07:002009-04-12T10:54:08.533-07:00Thank You, Reuters<blockquote>"Omgomg! my fans rock! the movie is doing great you guys!" Cyrus, 16, said in a Twitter message, using the "omg" acronym as shorthand for "Oh my God."</blockquote><p align="left">Thanks for that insightful explanation. I just wonder if that was added by the editor, of if it was the writer that put that in. I don't know what's worse, that "omg" exists, or that it needs to be explained in a <a href="http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.reuters.com/quothannah-montanaquot-rocks-north-american-box-office-reuters">Reuters article.</a></p>Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-71544568888778966602009-04-03T01:18:00.000-07:002009-04-03T01:25:39.745-07:00You're confusing enough as it is.I think there should be a moratorium on women using the term "girlfriend." I don't mean that they shouldn't have friends that are girls, but it just makes it confusing. I mean, I really don't want to have to buy you drinks and listen to you <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">drabble</span> on about how one of your girlfriends did this or that, and then find out that you're a "little bit gay" and that the real reason you were in the bathroom so long wasn't because that's what girls do, but because you were giving your real phone number to the woman in the stall next to you, and I get the fake one. Yeah, I sent in a ringer, so I know what really went on. What of it? That's why women as <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">wingmen</span> help by the way.<br /><br />Just keep it clear. If you really need to talk about a friend, she's a friend. If she's a girlfriend, it should mean you're gay. I mean, what are the chances that I have to hit on the lesbian in a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">freakin</span>' Western bar? I mean, I know about <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Brokeback</span> and all that, but <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">c'mon</span> what are the odds? If I have to be the minority in there, that should be enough.<br /><br />You're hard enough to understand as it is. I don't need the English language mucking things up for me.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-4651187326202024072009-03-26T18:21:00.000-07:002009-03-28T19:00:19.998-07:00The kids in England know how it's done.This is probably one of the most awesome Google Earth pranks in the history of Google Earth pranks. What makes it more awesome? The prim and proper use of English in the article.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,25239846-5006301,00.html">http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,25239846-5006301,00.html</a><br /><br />I do have to say though, that that is a horrible rendition. Kid should have been able to do better.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-62412011409141984182009-03-21T23:51:00.000-07:002009-03-22T00:02:06.035-07:00I love you, JapanI'm inclined to think that the racist imagery in Resident Evil 5 is borne out of ignorance rather than sheer malice. I mean, it's a multi-million dollar company making a video game that's supposed to be sold in many countries, among them the United States. I don't think that the average multi-national company would intentionally attempt that to make a point about Africa in a malicious way.<br /><br />In other words, it's just Japan.<br /><br />This too, is also just Japan. Those whacky guys.<br /><p></p><a href="http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/9274/mangamessiah.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 335px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 500px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/9274/mangamessiah.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><p></p><br /><br /><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p><p></p><br /><br /><br />I notice that they stuck with "white" Jesus as opposed to Jewish Jesus or black Jesus. Then again, it's better than Aryan Jesus I suppose.<br /><br />Oh, and for the title question? I'm pretty sure he's here to *Spoiler Alert* save the world.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-12382802110571063432009-03-15T22:53:00.001-07:002009-03-15T23:08:56.183-07:00Why Star Trek XI Will RockBecause one of the Asian gets to induct James Tiberius Kirk into the Nation's Punched.<br /><br /><a href="http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/444/kirkpunched2w.png"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 460px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 241px" alt="" src="http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/444/kirkpunched2w.png" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Probably should have ripped his shirt first.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-3073381151002235252009-03-14T14:42:00.000-07:002009-03-14T17:46:23.649-07:00Slightly inebriated in HermosaI'm in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Hermosa</span> and I guess I didn't get the memo that St. Patrick's Day started three days early. Which means that the streets are filled with white people in green. I'm pretty sure they're not all Irish, and just using this as an excuse to drink. That's bullshit. You shouldn't need an excuse to drink; and you're a loser if you do. I may be alcoholic, but at least I'm an honest alcoholic. <br /><br />It's an embarrassment. Do these D-bags drink on every ethnic holiday using it as an excuse? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Cinco</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">de</span> Mayo? Si. Martin Luther King Jr. Day? I bet these guys pour a forty in the gutter for their fallen homie.<br /><br />Fuck these guys. If you're <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ambiguously</span> white, be <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ambiguously</span> white. Don't try to be the Koreans of Europe. They got it tough enough as it without your pasty douche ass.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5614481965241985201.post-27084178538651323582009-03-12T20:02:00.000-07:002009-03-12T23:20:47.703-07:00I used to live by one, that gives me credI used to live by a Ranch 99. For those that don't know, that's an Asian supermarket. Since it was so close, I tended to go grocery shopping there (lazy and poor). Anyway, all the time that I was there, I've never seen anybody white shop there. Or rather, I've never seen anybody bring their white kids in there. At times there would be a few white folks, but they tended to be elderly. Not that it would be inappropriate for the whites to go in there, but they'd all go to the PW down the street, or the Costco across the street. Seriously, totally not making that up.<br /><br />Anyway, this is hilarious:<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ch11saK4GMk&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ch11saK4GMk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Honestly, what the hell? Chinese commercial in Chinese, and the "romantic interest" is played by a white dude? Seriously? I have no problem with white guys with Asian chicks, but I find it kinda odd that it would be the default for a freaking commerical for Chinese people. More so that it's forced since I've never seen a white kid in an Asian grocery store. They randomly bump into each other in the store? Utter nonsense. That's some major game playin' there.<br /><br />And it ends with, "captures authentic Asian flavor." Yeah, I bet you do 8 year old white boy. Probably went to med school and everything; only reason why her mom would let this relationship fly. Just sayin'.<br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinkerton_Syndrome">Pinkerton Syndrome.</a> Just sayin'.Asian Americanisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11604785730278812024noreply@blogger.com1